forever

somedays i wonder

if i will know forever

not the one we’ve

been sold on grocery

store tabloids, or the

stories our grandmother

tells us about as she

celebrates the golden

anniversary, with tears

in her eyes because

she stayed with a man

that wouldn’t know love

if it knocked him square

in the eye, no i wanna

know the kind of forever that

you discover anew with

each day, the kind of

forever that teaches you

with each new line on

your lovers face, a

secret unfolds, a bit

of your heart grows

every day you fall

more in love with the

flaws and the beauty

and the tender

touch of her hand,

the kiss of her lips

on your neck, just

so. no i don’t want the pretty

forever all wrapped in a bow

neat and proper, i want the real

forever, the messy one with

heartbreak and joy, passion

that is endless in it’s ever

changing infiniteness.

life

driving to work

on a saturday

morn, i pass

my former life

sitting in the

coffee shop,

they all laugh

and talk about

the weeks events

and i leave it all

behind, over and

over again, it’s

like a sharp object

to the gut, this guilt,

this pain of the former

life i once lived.

but it feels right, as

i enter my office

taking my choices

one day at a time

i feel real for the

first time and

i do it for me

and i know that

one day this

will all be a distant

memory, those

early days of pain

and regret.

a thousand years

in a thousand years

will the words of your

love still be scribbled

upon my heart...will

you still be trying to

shut the world out

with your walls tucked

neatly around you keeping

you safe from the pain of

all the love i try to give

or will i have finally

broken down the barriers

that keep me out...

will you have given up

on your armored facade

to let me touch the softest

part, let me be the one to

heal your broken parts

let me be the one that

makes you smile, with

love eternal,

let me

be

these days

i only see you

in my dreams

walking around

like we belong

together, we walk

the city streets

hand in hand,

i steal a glance

your eyes filled

with love for this

town filled with

song and opportunity

she stole you from

my heart this place

and left me to pick

up all the parts

leaving just my heart

to feel you in the

pages of a book

the lines of the

latest poem i

write for you

eventually i must

start my life anew

with less than a

song, and more than

words to fill this ol’

heart

dreams

you came to me

in a dream, it was

one of those dreams

that wakes you with

a start, not knowing

if it could be real or

just the longing of

your heart for the

moment we met

if only we could start

anew, no lies or mistakes

maybe then we’d have

a chance at building

something real, something

more than this bitter

addiction to your

smile and the touch

of your hand on my

heart....

repair

Sometimes all it takes is a smile really

to start ones heart on fire

when you can see the pain

crying out from within their soul

and you wonder what is it

really that one person can

do that can alter the path of

another, and greatly change

the heart within and yet we

know the power of words

and thoughts, and lies

that take little pieces of

our hearts and leave us

in need of repair

lover

i could love you

if only you let me

i can be the woman

you need, the one

that makes you feel

complete

i can be the comfort

you come home to

the one who makes

sweet love on a sunday

afternoon. when the

sun is creeping below

the horizon, while we

lie, legs intertwined

i can love you for the

woman you are and

the woman your are

meant to become

broken pieces and

all, i could love you

if only you let me.

coming out

coming out of the darkness

i find you there, waiting for

me to realize my true potential

i can feel the change in me

altering my presence, making

me whole, again. it’s because

of you these changes exist,

but in spite of you i am free

to live my life alone and free

awakened to the senses. the

presence of love that was

lost among the silence, waits

at every turn. i can breathe

for the first time, and

the air tastes good,

and new full of life, i am

whole.

a day

what a difference a day makes

it was just day three years ago

that changed my life’s course

a quick glance at the bar, a

simple hello, nice to meet you

and nothing would ever be the

same...i would never look at a

woman the same, i would never

feel the same for my husband

the end result would be the

constant longing for you in my

life. all it took was a day for me

to go from a life of comfort and

security to one of constant

question and pain and sadness

all the days leading up to you

and me and us the impossibility of

it all what a difference a day makes.

sometimes love happens

when we are not ready

when life is a mess and

you think nothing is

possible, sometimes

love happens. it doesn’t

wait for your head to

catch up with your

heart it makes its

surprise entrance

at the most

inconvenient of

times and your

left with all the

pain and confusion

her voice sang

to my soul, my

heart burst with

every note. she

lay her head on

my chest, her skin

touching mine. and

i was home, finally

a place of warmth,

of peace. to feel all

at once, free and

alive for the first

time. it shook me

so i could barely

move, for fear it

would leave me

once again alone.

my love

the way i see you,

it’s the beauty in

your heart, the way

you share it with the

world. it’s your words

and how you live them.

it’s your song and how

you sing it. how it opens

up my heart, and mind.

the love you gave to me

how it healed my soul,

made me feel worthy

again and full of hope.

it’s how you listen to

my words and read

them into life, eternal.

it’s your exuberance,

a joy for living, a kind

of blind faith in life, that

keeps me coming back

to you. comparing all

others to what ultimately

will always be my love

for just you.

the touch

how does one take
advantage of another
it begins with a touch
and the thought
she's had a little wine
she'll be in the mood
and she thinks
i owe him at the very least this
he gave her 11 years
and two beautiful children
but the more he touches
the more it hurts
like fire burning her skin
with every searing touch
and then the tears start rolling
and she can't stop
and she thinks of her
and all the pain
and how she can do anything
for a time
and she thinks
it's just a little longer
people have survived war
and famine
poverty and disease
she can survive this heartache
a little longer

empty

there’s an empty space

i feel it on my finger

where you placed my ring

i feel it at night

the ocean of space

in our bed where

you used to lay

it’s there in my heart

when i look at our kids

their searching eyes

asking what’s wrong

it’s wrong and its

right all at the same

time, these moments

of emptiness and pain

an office love affair

the chronicles of her

loves came sweeping

in, as fingers caressed 

her breast.  visual images

of the past were swirling

around her mind as

the facsimile she was creating 

at the very moment, kept

her away.  distant, she saw a 

squirrel cross from tree to tree

outside her window.