sorrow
the day the sky was gray
my heart stopped beating
no longer would I have
control over my thoughts
the day the sky was gray
the day the sky was gray
the song stopped playing
and the world around us began.
a universe in which
only you and I exist--
the day the sky was gray
the day the sky was gray
our minds became one
our thoughts like the sun
shines on blades of grass
the day the sky was gray
the day the sky was gray
I began to drown
in a river of longing
for a time to be with you
the day the sky was gray
10 comments:
gray skies does have its attractions, hey? Lovely.
the repitition of the grey skies really sets the mood in this
It reads like a song becos of the repetition lines.
coiled and cocooned
thanks, i wasn't sure about the repitition.
The repetition is lovely, and drew the poem around me.
I like the contrast here between the gray skies and your emotions!
i so believe in the use of repetition,, for exactly this reason,,, it keeps bringing the reader home... this was lovely....
The repetition wraps you up in it, like a blanket. Comfy.
Is this a certain form?
The way you set it up is interesting. The repetion mesmerizing.
thanks
writerwoman, to my knowledge, it's not a form, i just liked the way it flowed.
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