grief

they say there are "five stages of grief", so i guess once you experience all five; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, reality should set in and you can get on with your normal life right??? no you say, that's not how it works. one can progress from one stage to the next and then back again. well what should one do to speed the grieving process up, can we read the Bible from cover to cover and find all the answers in there. no, wait a minute that won't work either. somehow the anger keeps winning out over all the rest. anger at the world, anger at God, anger at you for leaving, anger at me for staying,, hell, even angry at the grocery store cashier for not checking your items out fast enough. or is it avoidance that gets me stuck in this vicious cycle, my own little defence mechanism, works like a charm every time. if i avoid the problem, there is no problem. they say time will heal, but time lasts forever doesn't it.....this isn't my life, why me, i can't get through this.....the words just keep swimming through my head, trying to drown me in my thoughts. time will heal all wounds.....maybe.