Sunday, March 2, 2008
Read, Write Poem prompt
time
the sun rises and sets
the days keep passing
my heart still beats
each time i think of you
the sun rises and sets
however painful life gets
the world keeps turning
when i start to forget
the sun rises and sets
the clock on the mantle
keeps ticking away time
my lungs still have breath
the sun rises and sets
to the tune of a song
i hear your voice
a whisper in my ear
the sun rises and sets
a picture falls out of a book
my fingers can't pick it up
your eyes still sparkle
the sun rises and sets
can we drown in our thoughts
as the rain washes them away
in the past they must stay
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7 comments:
I especially liked "a picture falls out of a book/my fingers can't pick it up"--I could feel the heart breaking like it was mine. Very nice.
The short lines are airy, as is the interpretation of each new day. I agree with chiklegirl, the stanza about not being able to pick up the book stands out.
that is beautiful...
I also agree with chicklegirl and christine. The picture falling out of the book is a nice concrete image. Good work.
Besides the stanza with the dropped photo I like the following one, too:
the sun rises and sets
to the tune of a song
i hear your voice
a whisper in my ear
Very nice!
that last stanza is a killer.. so true... wonderfully done...
Strange things, thoughts. Some are powerful and remain, others DO wash away. But how do we decide which is which?
A powerful poem. Excellent.
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